Friday, October 02, 2009

Heaven Has the Best Ass


Lish: oooh it's the twilight zone where mr death goes to visit the old woman and mr death is really hot
Cara: Mr Death better be really hot
Lish: oh HAHHAHAH it's robert fucking redford
Cara: HA
Lish: he's so young you can barely tell
he doesn't look like [[{{*ROBERT REDFORD*}}]] yet

Cara: wow
Lish: god i would screw the living hell out of that, tell you what
Cara: ...
Lish: hee wait, look:
see.
Cara: What a good-looking young gentleman
Lish: that is a slightly better-bred way of putting it, perhaps

Cara: Man. I'd hate to be all old when hot Mr. Death came around. Unless after I died I reverted to being whatever age I wanted and THEN I got to fuck him
Lish: oooh
Cara: I feel like it's a situation where 'You owe me' could work as a pick-up line
Lish: maybe that's what heaven is, everyone is at their hottest age so like, i could finally get me some peter o'toole
Cara: Man. All the best ass would be in heaven
Cara: You can't hide from me in heaven, Gregory Peck circa 1953!
Lish: HEEEEEEEE
Cara: I WILL FIND YOU
Lish: oh paul newman. JUST YOU WAIT
Lish: NO MATTER WHAT OCCURS
Cara: There have to be rules about stalking in heaven
Lish: no! it's heaven because, no rules
Cara: But it's also gotta be heaven for the people being relentlessly stalked
Lish: yeah because i'm sure they'll hate all the CONSTANT SEX
Cara: Well, there'd also be ugly people stalking them, though
Lish: ugly people have their own heaven. it's tiered, like high school. We are in Heaven I
Cara: Aw man, if we're in tier one like in high school does that mean I have to write a really long paper before I get to sleep with Gregory Peck? Whereas tier 3 only has to write a 3-5 page paper before sleeping with Jay Leno or something
Lish: ...no. because it's HEAVEN
Cara: I don't know! Maybe it's better if you have to work for it! By writing a ten page paper about all the reasons they should have sex with you!
Lish: yeah but not by writing essays!
Cara: I don't know! I'm a nerd!
Lish: this is not my idea of heaven! Ok, make a venn diagram
Cara: Do I get to highlight things in heaven?
Lish: you have to do extensive formal logic to demonstrate, syllogistically, why gregory peck has to bang you. And yes you do
Cara: Flowchart!
Lish: obviously
Lish: there's a big whiteboard. it's kind of hard to see because, heaven, clouds
Cara: Right
Lish: man i gotta say. if robert redford circa 1967 was death and like I could sleep with him but afterwards i'd DIE, I'd....have to seriously think about it. bring along paul newman for a threesome and yeah, bye. i've had a good run
Cara: Well, I mean, that's why you get to sleep with him AFTER, and you're 87 at the time
Lish: i'm just saying, if it was a cake or death scenario
Cara: Ah. I was gonna say... if I were old and I got to sleep with Robert Redford Mr. Death after he killed me I'd agree before he finished the sentence
Lish: heeeeee
Cara: I mean, he'd probably show up and I'd be like 'Okay!'
Lish: "where have you BEEN"
Cara: Yeah, it's not like there's traffic in the SKY
Lish: pegasuses. pegasoose
Cara: Oooh, do I get onea them?
Lish: obviously
Lish: ok shh robert redford's about to be all deathy. man he really can't act. ask me if i care IN THE SLIGHTEST
Cara: With that face he could genocide people and they'd all be like 'I'm sure you meant well!'
Lish: bless your little cotton socks
TAKE ME WITH YOU ROBERT REDFORD
Cara: HEE

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