You there. Yeah, you, the too-tan blonde woman in the Lily Pulitzer. Okay, first of all, Lily Pulitzer? When are all you pastel rejects from Greenwich and West Palm going to realize that Lily Pulitzer makes everyone look like a toddler. Little a-line sundresses with huge pink pastel flowers and neck scarves? Over-accessorized four year old. But more importantly, I know for a fact that that sky blue Hermes calf-skin bag set you back at least $4,000. I've seen it in various magazines and on the Hermes webpage. $4,000 for a bag that will be entirely too summery in a month and you can't put a freaking tip in the jar? Come on, lady, unless that bag was your entire divorce settlement after your husband ran off with his secretary who is a member of a minority and enjoys cooking and raising children, you're going to Stingy People Hell. In Stingy People Hell there are endless waffles and only a teaspoon of maple syrup. However, the nice man from Brooklyn who gave me a $5 tip for remembering he wanted extra cheese is going to Endless Rib Night Heaven. There will also be barbeque sauce.