Cara: Okay. 20 questions, but we can only play ONE game and I get to pick the thing that you guess what it is
Lish: one game means one for each of us
Cara: No
Lish: otherwise it's only a sad half of a game!
Cara: That's one ROUND
Lish: but don’t you want a nice ROUND game?
Cara: No
Lish: otherwise...why, you'd have some sort of a rhombus! Fine.
you may proceed
Cara: I'm thinkin'
hmmmmmmmmmm
Lish: bitchface
Cara: Okay, got it
Lish: avm
Cara: Mineral, I guess
Lish: oh,dear
Cara: more like a Thing, really
Lish: uh
is it a concept?
Cara: no
Lish: imaginary?
Cara: no
Lish: actually exists
Cara: yes
Lish: is it corporeal?
Cara: no
Lish: is it the ghost of christmas future?
Cara: It is not, no
Lish: ..scrooged was on the other night. randomly
Cara: ..huh
Lish: is it from a movie?
Cara: no
Lish: tv?
Cara: It may have been mentioned on teevee
Lish: is it Love, caroline?
Cara: It is not
Lish: is it a ghooooooost?
Cara: No
Lish: is it the Nothing?
oh,no movie
Cara: No
Lish: when you say mentioned on tv, on a tv show, or like, the news?
Cara: It could have been mentioned in any number of places
Lish: is it one thing?
Cara: yes
Lish: do we discuss it?
Cara: We do
Lish: do we want it?
Cara: You more than me
Lish: is it evil?
Cara: No
Lish: is it Revenge?
sweet revenge
Cara: Heee, no
Lish: have we discussed it recently?
Cara: we have
Lish: today?
Cara: yes
Lish: i refuse to scroll!
is it sex with rahm emanuel?
Cara: Heee, no
Lish: is it worker's comp?
Cara: no
Lish: wtf
clue me
Cara: I can't really think of any clues that wouldn't give it away
Lish: i scanned the chat and there's nothing!
power? a tiara?
Cara: no no
Lish: obama?
Cara: I believe he is corporeal
Lish: that's just what those fat cats in washington want you to think!
Cara: heeeeeeeeee
Lish: uhm
is it something you can buy?
Cara: no
Lish: is it something you can own?
Cara: no
Lish: the flipping fuck?
Cara: It is not that either
Lish: i....i'm lost
Cara: heeee
Lish: small hint!
Cara: No!
Lish: unemployment?
Cara: no
Lish: is it to be a tractor?
what the hell have we talked about today?
Cara: heee, no
Lish: is it to be a medici?
Cara: no
Lish: wtf?
i give up!
Cara: It was...
20 questions
Lish: you are the world's biggest cocksucker
Cara: Oh, I imagine there are much bigger cocksuckers
Lish: that doesn't count. it was a trick!
no, there aren't
Cara: No
It does count
Lish: it was a trick!
it doesn't count!
Cara: It wasn't a trick!
Lish: also i had to give up!
which means it doesn't cuont!
Cara: That's not MY fault
...
Lish: it IS
you tricked me!
Cara: I didn't!
Lish: you cuont!
Cara: heeeeeeee
Look. we have a well-established habit of meta referencing
Lish: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Cara: that was the ULTIMATE meta reference
Lish: but only when i can figure it out!
yeah it was genius, you fucker
but i still get to do one
Cara: fine
Lish: heeeeeeeeeeee
kay
that really was genius
Cara: I know. I'm proud
Lish: ok
Cara: avm?
Lish: animal
Cara: is it a pony?!
Lish: heeee
no
Cara: is it real?
Lish: yes
Cara: person?
Lish: yes
Cara: male?
Lish: no
Cara: a...fe-male?
Lish: no, an ooloi
yes a female
Cara: do we like her?
Lish: sometimes
Cara: is she on the teevee?
Lish: nope
Cara: movie?
Lish: nope
Cara: politician?
Lish: no
Cara: do we know her personally?
Lish: sort of
Cara: have we met her?
Lish: yes
Cara: are we related?
Lish: we aren't
Cara: is she old?
Lish: no
Cara: is she your age or my age?
Lish: your age
Cara: In Connecticut?
Lish: sometimes
Cara: Is she ME?
Lish: ...........................no
asshole
Cara: heeeeeeeeeee
Lish: heeeeeeeeeee
i get to do another one. i couldn't quit laughing hard enough to be more subtle
Cara: no you don't!
Lish: i do too! that didn't even take you 20 questions!
Cara: Your HANDS weren't laughing
Lish: therefore the game is forfeit
Cara: That's not MY fault
Lish: maybe they WERE
Cara: You keep making rules up!
Lish: this SURPRISES you?
Cara: I don't have to abide by them!
They're FAKE
Lish: yes you do! the first rule of calvinball!
a rule becomes true by being spoken
Cara: But the second rule is that I can negate any rule!
Lish: don't make me hit you with a tissue box
you can't negate it, you have to build on it if you can
Cara: This is why we never get very far in calvinball
Lish: heee
Cara: FINE. A rule becomes true by being spoken unless I call you a cunt
Cunt.
Lish: unless it's wednesday
Cara: No. Especially on Wednesday
Lish: no, that negates
Cara: No.
Lish: yes
Cara: Because Odin hated cunts
Lish: H:AH!
your COLON
Cara: heee
Lish: ok i got one
game begins!
which it does, by my saying so
Cara: No!
Lish: too late!
Cara: I am not PLAYING
Lish: you HAVE NO CHOICE
Cara: Sure I do
Lish: ...........we're like the UN
Cara: useless and impotent?
Lish: and ......yeah, essentially
but the game has beun
GUN
Cara: it has not
Lish: ooh, gun
Cara: I shan't play
Lish: has too, or i'll burn down the Gun and Death Shoppe
WITH the unicorns inside
Cara: The unicorns are in the lilac and butterfly forest, fool
They render it unburnable
Lish: i am BURNING IT DOWN
that's ridiculous
unicorns are flammable
Cara: Unicorns are MAGIC
Lish: and flammable!
Cara: And Kevin the Unicorn will impale you with his horn if you try that shit
Lish: because of all that glitter!that shit goes right up
Cara: They're not TACKY unicorns
Lish: he can't impale me if he's busy burning to death
Cara: They have a subtle sheen. It's mineral-based
Lish: there's no other kind!
all unicorns, by law, are covered in glitter
Cara: Don't you ever get tired of LYING?
Lish: no
Cara: ...fair enough, really
Lish: HEEEEEEEEEEEEE
i'm going to get fired
excessive chortling
Cara: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Lish: my chair is shaking
Cara: that's the unicorns coming for you
Lish: also, kevin won't be impaling me, kevin is on fire island this weekend
he's one of that sort of unicorn
so he'll be impaling something
Cara: dude
Lish: mmm?
game is ON
Cara: No
Lish: IT"S A VEGETABLE
hah! there, now you're invoved
sigh
Cara: SO IS YOUR GODDAMN FACE
Lish: my face is not a vegetable!
my face is worshipped in several micronesian cultures
Cara: Is it the Sherwin Collective?
Lish: no
Cara: Then I don't care
Lish: HEEE
you are unnaturally attracted to that plant
Cara: Well. I'll never have a son, see
Lish: nobody would let you
Cara: obviously
Lish: they actually approached me and offered me a ton of money to steal your ovaries while you slept, but i tried to explain to them what a light sleeper you were
Cara: Yeah, I'd hear them
Lish: and you'd be all like, who's there, and i'd be all like, ovary thief
Cara: And I'd be like 'AGAIN?'
Lish: yeah
the ovary thief is like the opposite of the tooth fairy
Cara: She doesn't even leave pills
Lish: well yes
codeine pills, considering you did just have surgery
Cara: I don't LIKE codeine
Lish: you're a MORON
Cara: It makes me feel hungover
Lish: you have inferior large synapses
receptors
I meant to say
Cara: Heee. Mur had this book about wiring out yesterday and I was reading about circuits and I was like 'THAT was why our Science didn't work'
Lish: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Cara: there were no blue wires!
Lish: we had WIRE
Cara: You need FOUR
Lish: i don't remember how many wires we had, but most of them were going into my mouth
Cara: Apparently that's also frowned upon
Lish: that's why science hasn't come up with anything good in ages. not enough things going into people's mouths
Cara: That's why they're always so twitchy
Lish: yeah
i can relate
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