Lish: i feel pregnant
how odd.
Cara: huh
Lish: ...huh
could be the burger
Cara: Yeah, that'll do it
Lish: mmmhmm
oh man
i'm going for tibetan food tonight
and i really really want to ask if it's free
Cara: Heee. It's all imported from China
Lish: heeeeeeeeeeee
Lish: i had a glass of water and burped and i don't feel pregnant anymore. this says pretty much all you need to know about babies.
Cara: Heee. I knew you weren't pregnant, because I wasn't on a horse
Lish: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Cara: As is my understanding of how babies are made
Lish: oh man i can see it now
"wait a minute honey, let me just call my sister and tell her to go down to the stables"
Cara: So really, what birth control pills do is keep me off horses, thus preventing me from getting pregnant!
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Lish: no see, you getting on a horse wouldn't make YOU pregnant. as is my understanding, either I or barack obama would have to go to puerto rico to make you pregnant
Cara: No, you or Barack Obama would have to go to Puerto Rico to make me the democratic nominee
I think YOU would have to ride a horse
Lish: so, barack obama would have to get on a horse
Cara: So my birth control pills keep you and Barack Obama from riding horses
Cara: As do I
I don't see any other explanation!
Lish: obviously
Cara: Do you think carousel horses count? I need to know this in case I go to a fair
Or would that mean you'd be pregnant with a doll. Yes,that would indeed mean a doll pregnancy
Lish: for six weeks
Cara: It's French
Lish: and then OMG! FETUS!
Cara: They get long vacations, see
Lish: I see.
Cara: But then they see that I'm on the horse and they're like 'OMG! She must be crossing the Oregon Trail! I must strike now in case she is struck down with dysentery, so that the population does not change'
Lish: and then the sperm buy some supplies, so they don't run out of food, and then they ford a river
this analogy could get icky
Cara: Yeah, I don't really want to bring oxen into this
Lish: I am not sure what you are implying
Cara: I actually have no idea either
Lish: no I mean, it could go one of two ways, and both are equally reprehensible
Cara: Oh.
Yeah, I..
Lish: heeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Cara: Sem's sex education didn't cover extended metaphors
Lish: Sem's ENGLISH CLASSES didn't even cover extended metaphors
Cara: Heeeeeee
Lish: except that I got mrs whats her name, that told us about that thing I can never remember what it is but it's awesome
like you have two things, and a verb
Cara: ....
yes
Lish: and they both do the thing!
Cara: ..right
Lish: you know, don't pretend you don't know
i always think it's syzygy, but that is an astronomical convergence of planetary orbits
and not a literary device
Cara: synecdoche?
Lish: no
that other thing
me...
mel
Cara: metonymy?
Lish: mer..
no
Cara: mer..maids?
Lish: pfft. like i'd have trouble remembering METONYMY
Cara: I was gonna say, loser
Lish: seriously
no it's
there are two words for it
one starts with an s and one starts with I think an m, and one is a subset of the other one
syllepsis!
Cara: heeeee
Lish: I think.
is that that thing where there are two things and a verb and they both do the thing?
Cara: Are you implying some sort of grammatical threesome?
Lish: you were the one talking about oxen
like,
Cara: COMPUTER GAME oxen
So really I was talking about ones and zeros
Lish: are you implying I would fuck a pixel?
Cara: Maybe I'm implying that your face is binary
Lish: although ones and zeros would in fact describe my dating history
Cara: There you go!
Lish: in general
Cara: What were we talking about?
Lish: ...horses?
Cara: I like horses!
Lish: what's the other word then?
wait, you
Cara: I don't even know what's going on
Lish: hah!
Zeugma
which does not in fact start with an m
Cara: It...has an M
which sounds like something you do to GET pregnant, thus bringing us neatly back to point A
Cara: Heeeeee
I'm glad I didn't have to take a horse to point A
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