In Which We Wed a Sitcom

Lish: i was talking to you about rumors that rahm would be tapped for VP and you couldn't see them!
Cara: Sexiest White House EVER
Lish: i know!!! i don't know if i could cope with wanting to sleep with the president AND vice president of the united states, that's not even funny
Caroline: That's like...
That's unprecedented
Lish: i.....
it....it would be fucking.....
Caroline: I'd have to get cable so I could get C-Span

Lish: jesus
Caroline: JUST in case there was a vote that was tied and Rahm had to break the tie and I got to watch him
Lish: my brain can't even get around this idea
Caroline: Also a Jew AND a black guy in the White House
They just need a Polish guy and then it's a joke
Lish: hee!
they could walk into a bar
Caroline: I hope it's the one in my neighborhood
Lish: mine!
Caroline: They can go back and forth
They have planes and helicopters and shit
Lish: heeeeee
Caroline: So …..that Horton Hears a Who movie
I'm conflicted. Because it's probably going to suck. But the guy who plays GOB is doing the voice for one of the characters. So I have a feeling if I did see it I'd just giggle every time he spoke anyway
Lish: oh god. they're ILLLUSIONS, horton. tricks are something a hooker does for money
Caroline: or candy!
Lish: heeeeee
who does GOB play?
Caroline: I don't knoI have no idea. In the cast list he's just 'voice'
Lish: he's the Voice of GOB
Caroline: heeeeeeeeeeeee
Oh man. I'd forgotten about "Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over."
If only it were possible to have sex with a sitcom
Lish: HAH!
okay, i'm stealing that for a status message
Caroline: No! I was gonna use it
Oh, fuck you
Lish: HAHAHHA. you CAN"T, because I"M the firstborn
Caroline: If that show has taught us anything it's that the firstborn is functionally retarded!
Lish: so it would be a dirty vicious lie
just THAT firstborn!
Caroline: I make sweeping generalizations when they serve my purpose!
Lish: and besides, you already have Thing Hate Cara
Caroline: But that only applies to Things!
Lish: it can apply to everything!
Lish: heee and also, you might want to fix "the cain in the woods" because that could be confusing, and frightening to any abels that you might know
Caroline: heeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Lish: there has to be a way to sleep with a tv show
Caroline: I don't think so


Lish: heeee sorry i just read your cabin in the woods thing again and I needed to laugh
we need to figure out a way to wed a cancelled sitcom
Caroline: I don't think sitcoms can get blood tests, is the problem
Lish: so we shall wed in the las vegas
Caroline: Also it would be polygamy
Lish: so we shall wed in the utah territory
Caroline: It's not legal there either!
Lish: is too!
if you're that secty thing
Caroline: That doesn't make it LEGAL
Lish: since when do we care if something is totally legal?
Caroline: heee
I guess we could marry different seasons
Lish: i want season one!
you can have bob loblaw
Caroline: I get the second half of season two and all of season three!
Lish: no way!
Caroline: yes
I CALLEd it
Lish: you don't get one and a half AND bob loblaw!!
Caroline: You also get one and a half, idiot
There's half of season two
Lish: but i don't WANT that half of season two!
Caroline: TOO BAD
Lish: ok but I get ALL chicken dances as well
Caroline: For better or for worse
Lish: AND the banana stand
Caroline: No way!
Lish: tough, I called it
Caroline: You can have the banana stand
Lish: there's always money in the banana stand, see
Caroline: The chicken dances are to be divided evenly!
Lish: fuck that!
ok, but I get the final pan-family chicken dance
Caroline: Fine
Lish: you can have the cabin in the woods, but i want portugal, in south america
Caroline: Fine, but I get the Seaward
Lish: !!!
I get michael.
there.
Caroline: ...we're marrying seasons
Lish: you can have the whole rest of the family
yeah, but
with a proviso
Caroline: No way
Lish: i called it!
Caroline: You don't get the main character
Lish: but you can have ALL the other ones!
Caroline: What the hell am I gonna do with Tobias?
Lish: it's an ensemble, there's no main character
..........bronze and display him?
Caroline: No. You get Michael from season one and the first half of season two
I think he had better hair then anyway
Lish: hah fine but you have to deal with that stupid blonde retard
i hate that whole plotline and i hate her
Caroline: I'll just focus on GOB during that time
Lish: whereas i get marta michael, who was much awesomer
you can have buster
AND liza
I want steve holt!
Caroline: And the loose seal?
Lish: you may have the seal