Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Baking with Proust




Baby otter
Lish: !
ok i want to kill everyone except for the baby otter
Cara: I want one for my bathtub
And possibly my sink
9:31 AM Lish: i would buy several and have them strategically placed in vats of water around my house
Cara: Everywhere you look, there shall be a baby otter
Lish: turn the corner- baby otter!
9:32 AM Cara: Maybe not in the fridge though. That wouldn't end well
I mean, it'd be awesome to open the fridge and see a baby otter, but only if it were living
9:33 AM Lish: it would be like when we open up the fridge three times a day to see if there are New Foods except instead of jelly beans it'd be like "dead baby otter. Huh." and we would close the door


---------------
Cara: So I just finished Case Histories, which was supposed to be a 'great mystery'
Lish: never heard of it
Cara: Since when does 'great history' mean 'something you couldn't possibly solve because it's someone I just threw in at the last minute'
10:34 AM Lish: ...since marisha pessl started publishing?
Cara: I think this came out before Pessl
Lish: dude, read Shadow of the Wind. i ignored it because....ok, the title, but it's great
10:35 AM Cara: Ooh, THAT book. I've picked that one up ten times
10:36 AM Lish: it's like if gabriel garcia marquez had a sense of humor and plot and stopped calling everyone by their full names all the time
Cara: heeeeeeee. they should put that on the jacket
10:38 AM
Lish: i HATE that name thing. it ruins it. it's like "no, javier maria gustafson, i can't love you, for my life is ruined" and
10:39 AM Cara: Your life is ruined because you spend 50% of it saying people's full names
Lish: yes!
Cara: Go bake with Proust 
Lish: overheard- 12:10 PM Teen boy #1: So, out of all the Disney princesses, which one would you get nasty with?
Teen boy #2: What? That's gross shit, man. They're cartoons! You're disgusting.
Teen boy #1, after pause: So, the Little Mermaid?
Teen boy #2: Word.
Cara: After being disgusted, he picks the one that's half fish
Lish: guys love mermaids.
Cara: Why!
Lish: oral fixation. they have no orifices of their own. i read it in freud and also on the internet.
Cara: But...they'd have to give head under water
Lish: well obviously they'd flop up on an outcropping or something just long enough to blow you
Cara: Like they do
Lish: yes
Cara: I...
How are men so dumb?
Lish: ...
Cara: I... I just...them thinking 'Man. Mermaids would love to flop up onto a rock to blow me' makes about as much sense as me thinking I'm going to ride a pegasus home from work today .If I told people that, they'd give me pills 
Lish: but that's EXACTLY what they do think,see. i think once we realize this we'll have gone a long way towards understanding the male psyche
Cara: But
Lish: no
Cara: Once you DO realize it, all you can do is say 'That's fucking stupid'
 
12:30 PM Lish: we should edit and publish this blog
Cara: But most of it is quotes from other things
12:32 PM Lish: ....we'll edit those bits
12:33 PM Cara: ...
uh
Then it will be a single haiku
Lish: heeeee
TV is stupid
I staple you to a bear
Case in point: your face

No comments: