In which we annotate Casanova: The Masterpiece Theater version, and ensure our places in hell. Posted mostly because I'm helplessly amused by "end of cara buffer".


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Start of Cara buffer: Sun Oct 15 23:07:15 2006
lish: dude
lish: targett was just on and he was being all nice to me
Cara: Was he on drugs?
lish: i dont....think so...
Cara: Hit his head?
lish: i....don't think so
Cara: Well. I'm stumped
lish: he said we were declaring a snide amnesty. but then i said we should call it amnesnide and he said it was snidesty, and we started fighting again
Cara: Oh, that's okay then
lish: amnesnide is SUCH a better word
Cara: I have to side with him and snidesty on this one
lish: fuck but...but…
Cara: amnesnide sounds like a drink
lish: no it sounds like homicide or patricide or something cool
Cara: Your FACE sounds like homicide
lish: WHY is stupid fucking football on? WHY no family guy? what to DO???
Cara: The Masterpiece Theatre with Peter O'Toole and David Tennant is on here. Tennant's hair is HORRIBLE
lish: what the ....masterpiece theater is even still ON?
Cara: ...PBS
Cara: Yessir
lish: oh rock on!!
lish: wow...niiiiice david, nice
Cara: You missed part one. But mostly what happened was...not much
lish: hey that black guy was on doctor who, the good episode with the big hole
Cara: Yeah, Russell T. Davies wrote this
lish: aha
lish: i love directors and their pet actors
Cara: Man.
lish: so what's going on here, is this an adaptation of something or is it Random Boys in Wigs?
Cara: Casanova
lish: hokay
lish: was he....english?
Cara: Hee. You'd think
lish: hee no, not really
Cara: I meant from this.
lish: or from....everything i know about english boys
Cara: Cut your HAIR
Cara: Oh, dude, throw the kid out the wagon
lish: throw the jew down the well!
Cara: Heeee
Cara: Wow. That was an awesome bit of graphics right there
lish: they should've just had an index card reading "South of London"
Cara: With an arrow
lish: like in austin powers when they're driving through california and the sign says "english countryside"
Cara: Heeeee
lish: i see no peter otoole
Cara: Heeeee
Cara: He's older Casanova. He's the narrator
lish: oooh
lish: now THAT i could believe
Cara: I feel that this is rife with historical inaccuracies
lish: i.....have the smallest suspicion that you might possibly be correct
Cara: Though when they were just walking down the hall and the guy complimented him on his French. That was pretty awesome
lish: also i DO know how it's spelled but it's amusing to think that his name is Jackamo
Cara: Heeeeee
Cara: Because then I think Jackamole
lish: heee!
Cara: And THEN I think Whackamole
lish: i just snorted
Cara: And then I have a name for my first born
Cara: Whackamole Huge Ackman Romano
lish: that is GLORIOUS
lish: Diptheria Whackamole
Cara: Take that, Pilot Inspektor Lee
lish: should've been Pilotfish Inspektor
Cara: Heeeee
Cara: This is just Doctor Who without the blue box
lish: and the leather jacket
Cara: Well. The new one hasn't got the leather jacket, he has the suit
Cara: Granted, it's not a red silk suit
lish: even better
lish: and there's less counting in doctor who
Cara: This is Doctor Who on Sesame Street
lish: hee!
Cara: heee
lish: this is so fucking tongue in cheek, i love it
Cara: Best Masterpiece Theatre EVER
lish: there's a sentence you don't hear very often
Cara: I'd like Casanova much better if I didn't know he boffed his own daughter
lish: um. ok, never knew, never wanted to
Cara: I bet that won't be in this
lish: yes like going through all of I, Claudius without tiberius buggering ONE, ONE! little boy
Cara: Hee. One, ah ah ah, two, two little boys, ah ah ah
lish: HAHH!Q!
lish: ohhh the snorting
Cara: I, Countius
lish: c...nevermind
Cara: Is Jack autistic or just an asshole?
Cara: Heee
lish: Assholepergers
Cara: Heeee
Cara: dude. They need cable
lish: no likee wiggie
Cara: Well. To be fair, what WOULDN'T have got you decapitated in Paris back then?
lish: hmmm. a lovely bernaise sauce?
Cara: Exactly
lish: to infinity and beyond!!
lish: GOD he should've said it
Cara: Heeeeeee
Cara: That woman sure starts to turn around a lot
lish: that chick sure takes a long time to turn her h-fuck
Cara: Heeeee
lish: heeee
Cara: Well. There's one for Craigslist's Missed Connections
lish: HAH
Cara: 'Me: Crappy hair and shiny blue suit. You: Powder blue cloak, can only turn head quarter of the way around"
lish: i adore you
Cara: Oh. Those are gloves
Cara: I thought she was doing some sort of performance art with green paint
lish: did you think she was a victim of the Green Hand Plague?
Cara: Or really, REALLY good at gardening
lish: HEEEEE
Cara: Kid's gonna be a serial killer
lish: sullen little bitch
lish: heh
Cara: Hee
lish: what i've learned from this is that all houses all over europe have very similiar sets of swingy doors
Cara: And everyone matches their wallpaper
lish: haven't you ever heard of the Central Wallpaper Depository of Westphalia? honestly
lish: kiss him!
Cara: Well. Gayest Look of The Week right there
lish: heeeeeeeeeee
Cara: Fagtastic, that is
lish: wow. it IS craigslist
Cara: Heeee
lish: take off his clothes!
Cara: They NEVER take off his clothes
lish: because they're bastards
lish: read the latest blog entry, it's priceless. If by priceless you mean horrific.
Cara: A goth boy. You are no longer my son
lish: nonono. it was a halloween party, i dont think he is actually a goth. But then I don’t even remember his name. Whatever.
Cara: Well done. Dude. What a little fucker casanova’s son is.
lish: i hate that kid
Cara: Let's go back into...fictional time and kill him
lish: ohkay
lish: you figure that one out
Cara: As soon as I get the Make-It-Real machine...
lish: i need a make-it-fake machine
Cara: That's worrisome

Cara: Baa-ZING
lish: i'd totally do peter o'toole. but then you know this.
Cara: Yes. I know
Cara: You make my crush on Josh Lyman seem completely normal by comparison
lish: i'm comfortable with that
Cara: Well. Everyone's happy
Cara: I'd be afraid he'd break
lish: or....be all..squidgy
Cara: Someone's bipolar
lish: bipolar?? he's PICKLED.
Cara: He needs fresh brine. He's cranky
lish: oh dear
lish: if only i could have his entire body forcibly liposuctioned
Cara: You worry me
lish: but then he wouldn't be....folded, everywhere
Cara: You'd have to tighten his SKIN
lish: that's what i meant. sorry, not lipo..a full body....skin-tuck.i bet his balls hang like...to his KNEES
Cara: dude. Gross. Not when I'm eating a Snickers, please
lish: heeee
Cara: I don't know what one has to do with the other
lish: you can't handle it, man
Cara: Snickers have nuts and caramel! You can't talk about saggy balls when I'm eating something with nuts and caramel!
lish: hee. saggy caramel balls
Cara: SHUT YOUR TACO HOLE
lish: i SHAN'T
Cara: YOU SHALL
Cara: Pretty soon his son is...going to look as old as he does
lish: he must have a wayback machine
Cara: And he doesn't share? Selfish fucker
Cara: ...literally, considering he's Casanova
lish: the man can rock some brocade though, i'll give him that
Cara: Dude. That was so his daughter
lish: perv
lish: is....is that his son?
Cara: Yes
lish: 0r there must be a painting of david tennant in an attic somewhere
Cara: Heeee
Cara: Don't do it! You're related! This isn't Lost!
lish: wait what?
lish: who's incesting on lost?
Cara: Oh. Just the Boone and Blondie thing
lish: oh that
lish: that was fakecest though.stepcest. whatever.
lish: stepcester. hee
Cara: Well. It was the only incest on network TV that I could think of
lish: you'd think there'd be more. what with the Fox and all
Cara: Yeah. Huh.
Cara: You should maybe go warn your son
lish: that's the daughter!
lish: WHORE
lish: heeeee he heard you
Cara: Heeeeeee
lish: eew!!
Cara: Dude.
lish: when exactly in 28th century english society did incest become ok?
Cara: This is all sorts of Roman shit
lish: was i asleep that day?
Cara: 28th century?
lish: and you thought they wouldn't include it. robert graves this AIN"T
Cara: did you round up?
lish: uh
lish: fuck you
lish: see if he had the tardis right now…
Cara: Right. Except in the real story he became betrothed to his daughter before realizing she was..his daughter and he still slept with her
Cara: ...yes
lish: he...does not mind...?
lish: you, all right?? I learned it by watching YOU
Cara: Heeeeee
Cara: I love how 'never lose your heart' translates into 'boff your sister'
lish: behold the consequences of your actions! behold them I say!
Cara: More comeuppance!
lish: their family reunions must be exciting
Cara: Hee
lish: "we can't have all the kids come home, there aren't enough bedroom- oh well, maybe it'll be ok"
Cara: Heeeeeeeeeee. Grooooooss
Cara: Oh, Casanova. Live, damn you, live!
lish: chick peas just went EVERYWHERE
Cara: Another sentence you don't hear often
lish: those Dots they can whip up some special shit with the chick pea, i'll tell you. i don't even know what this IS
Cara: Golly
lish: this, i think, is some sort of bread, but what kind? I know not.
lish: ka'chori. i recommend it. it might be dog food. do we know? no.
Cara: Those sleeves seem a bit silly for a maid
lish: she's a maid? all this time he's been talking to the HELP? wow, how low has he sunk
lish: oh man, the other day at work this guy simon was talking about the different departments and said something about how Production was like the fieldhands and Editorial was the House Workers
lish: it was fucking hilarious in an I'm going to hell sort of way
Cara: Her father was a burgomaster or something but he liked the gambling and lost all the money and died and now she's the help
Cara: Haha
lish: you don't know what a burgomaster is.
lish: don't even lie to me
Cara: Yes'm I do
lish: no you don't, because I don't
Cara: It's like a mayor
lish: these are lies.
Cara: Lamest lie ever
lish: all you're capable of
Cara: Hate.
lish: lame lies. .....limes.
lish: you speak limes
Cara: Mm. Limes
lish: now I wish for a sorbet
Cara: Me too.
lish: ok. peter o’toole..NOT looking so hot right now. It pains me to have to say this.
Cara: He's pretending he's DYING. Is he supposed to look fabu?
lish: .....er. "pretending" might be a bit charitable at this point, I feel
Cara: Also no one looks good from that angle
lish: true
lish: she looks like me
Cara: Not...really
lish: she has the same face shape
lish: she does not, however, look like that eagle guy from the muppet show
Cara: Your...face...has the same face shape
Cara: Finally
lish: bound to happen sooner or later
Cara: I find it disturbing that most people seem to look like him
lish: right?
Lish: ok, what next
Cara: Dexter's on
lish: you watch that?
Cara: When the only other option is Nip/Suck, yes
lish: heh
Cara: Sociopaths are way less obnoxious than other people
Cara: Except for the whole killing bit
lish: i think psychopaths kill
lish: sociopaths just spend a lot of time thinking about how people probably should be killed
Cara: Well. This dude's a sociopath and he kills
lish: on..dexter's lab?
Cara: ...
lish: OHH heeeee i just realized what show you were talking about
lish: heeeeeeeee
Cara: We are talking about two very, very different shows
Cara: heeeeeeee
lish: HSHHAHAHA
lish: ok what channel is that dexter on?
lish: i shall click whilst i laugh
Cara: Showtime
lish: fuck. we don't get that. because my asshole roommate decided we only get sports channels
Cara: Man. How awesome would Dexter's Lab be if he went around offing everyone?
Cara: What kind of demon cat runs off with a tube of Lifesavers?
lish: a romano cat
lish: and very, very awesome
Cara: And she...she hid them under the dresser. Right in the middle. So I can't possibly reach them
Cara: Fucking Romano cat and her love of shiny things
lish: it's nice to know that we're communicable even to the animal kingdom
lish: we're like the flu
Cara: Fantastic
lish: and more fantastic, family guy on
Cara: I just saw that one though
lish: your point?
lish: we seen em all
Cara: Yeah, but not on Thursday
lish: hee
lish: yeah but not this week!
Cara: Heeeee
lish: you have to watch if only for the orange groves
Cara: heeee
Cara: They changed the green Lifesavers from lime to watermelon. I'm not sure how I feel about that
lish: a change to watermelon is always a good change
Cara: Heee
Cara: But what's next? Are they going to change pineapple? God help them if they mess with pineapple
lish: no. pineapple has a lobbyist
Cara: Damn right
lish: wait....the gilmores aren't jewish?
lish: but they're so....jewy
lish: well the rorys are. the parents are waspy.
lish: but i always figured they were just trying to Pass
Cara: They came over on the Mayflower. Not...clinging to the side
lish: HEE!
lish: charging their co-hangers on for a turn at the bilge water, oh god we're going to hell
Cara: Heeeeeeee
End of Cara buffer: Sun Oct 15 23:07:15 2006