For random Friday night fun/time wasting, nothing beats crashing a hardcore goth party at a Manhattan club. While wearing jeans and a tweed jacket. And spending the entire night talking like the Goth Kids from that episode of South Park. Flat, nasal voice and all. It's all darkness man, total darkness. You have to dress exactly like us to show what a nonconformist you are. The WHOLE night, I did this. I talked to this one guy for a half hour about something or other and he said to me, "you know, it doesn't matter what you're wearing, YOU are a goth on the inside." I have never been so disturbed by an honest compliment.

If you're going to do this, you have to be prepared to answer some questions the next day. Namely: who is this guy? Is that...is he wearing eyeliner? How the hell am I going to get him out of here? And, possibly most importantly, what is this fork doing wrapped around my wrist? Sigh.

In other news, I bought the coolest pair of shoes in the world. They're shiny glazed deep red patent leather loafers. I keep clicking the heels together, but so far nothing has happened.
I also spent 300 dollars on a pair of boots. Because fuck you, that's why.