Ahhh, summer. Isn't summer great? I think this whole global warming thing has gotten a bad rap and I'd like to set the record straight. Assuming that all the hype about global warming is true, well...what's the big deal, bitch? I LOVE this. I say let it continue! We could take boats everywhere instead of driving and we'd be tan all year round and also thin because it's too hot to eat anything but smoked salmon and ice cream sandwiches. Um, not at the same time. And everywhere would have that great sultry Tennesee-Williamsesque weather, and we could lounge about in February wearing sun dresses and drinking mint juleps and fanning ourselves idly with the golden tresses of lanky shirtless men and....uh, got carried away. What was my point? Oh yes. This post is directed mainly at The Chump, who in particular has no reason to bitch as he's got central air. What's the problem with it being hot? Bakingly, ear-meltingly, running-around-on-mercury-while-wearing-wool hot. Do you people not remember winter? Do you not remember it SUCKING? Snow is fun for exactly the length of time needed to build a two-headed snowman with angry eyebrows, and then it's just sludge. Cold is just....it just sucks. I don't even want to bother describing how it sucks. I'm going to go to the North Pole with a thousand cases of pre- CFC laws hairspray, and I'm just going to go to town. Yes the Ozone layer was nice, but it's time to live in the Now. Embrace the horror, my fellow mammals- go buy a boat and a straw hat and quit complaining. Ok, I have to go. It's way too damn hot to sit around in this stuffy room.