My landlady decided to renovate her apartment, which is on the ground floor (I'm on the third floor). Apparently the pipe that goes- well, went- through my bathroom goes all the way through the building. And it was in her way. So she got a construction guy to YANK the pipe through the floors of the building and then out the basement. Am I the only person who thinks this might have been a bad idea? So after having done this, and destroyed three storeys' worth of floors and walls in the process, they realize the pipe actually, you know, DID something, so they have to go back in and reinstall new pipes everywhere. So I was a victim of Breaking and Plumbing, apparently. But that's not what I want to talk about today.
I finally got around to reading Cloud Atlas. I hadn't read it before now because everyone was talking about it and I just felt like being contrary. Plus I can't afford hardcovers, considering how fast I go through them. So I figured enough time had passed, and it's out in paperback, and I really felt like reading a good thick book, so I got it. And I'm really pissed off.
I love this book. I just freaking love it. I'm not going to bother to say why because everyone already has. But here's the thing. About halfway through, there's a whole section of the book that I read while literally screaming and punching various chairs, couches, and on one memorable occasion, the arm of the person sitting next to me on the subway. Because it isn't even plagiarism. It's a freaking cut and paste. Has ANYBODY read Riddley Walker? No, of course not. Nobody has. But you should go out and do so right NOW because it's one of the best books ever written. And hey, if you like Cloud Atlas, you'll like Riddley, because the ENTIRE MIDDLE SECTION is lifted directly from it. I am making a serious accusation here. Look:

"..yarns 'bout Old-Un Smart an' flyin' dwellin's an' growin' babbits in bottles an' pictures zoomin' cross the Hole World..."
-Cloud Atlas, 2004

" ...with them boats on the air an picters on the wind over the whoal of the worl..."
-Riddley Walker, 1980

And don't even get me started on bein lorn and onesome and doin the juicy with Auntie because I'll just get too angry, and this is only what I can come up with off the top of my head.

Look, I get that part of the greatness of Atlas is the imitating of a bunch of genres, but the thing is, all the rest of them are very well known genres and, often, specific writers, so it's an homage, because people know what you're referring to. But don't do that to poor Riddley, because it can't defend itself. Nobody's read it. Nobody knows where all that came from. And it isn't just the language, although from what I can gather, all Mitchell did was slap some apostrophes in there. I'm not saying he lifted the entire story, but he did take the body of the story and just paint different skin over it.
Cloud Atlas is great, but Riddley is sacrosanct, and this kind of theft of a poor underappreciated work of genius just really burns my toast.

David Mitchell, I really like your stuff, but I am calling you out. This is just not on.